Letter to our Upstairs Neighbor

Hello, Neighbor.

I just thought I'd write you a letter telling you we will be moving in a month. You see, we are buying our very own house. It's a cute little house with a big backyard with a fence and a gate so your dog can't come over and poop in it. Which is great, because now I won't have to endure "Abby, go potty! Abby, go potty!" over and over, right outside my living room window.

It's been a fun time being your downstairs neighbors. My favorite memories involved your young teenage daughter having school off, and you being at work. She really knows how to party, it seems, because I could hear every single lyric pumping out of that stereo! If she has a hearing problem, though, I am sorry to bring it up. I should be more understanding. Although, that wouldn't explain the running, or traditional clog dancing, or whatever her and her little girlfriends were doing up there. Kids and their energy, huh?

And how could I forget the time right after you moved in, when I had a small baby, when you hired some dudes to come install a hardwood floor for you! And they pitched their little tent, which held the power saw to cut the planks, immediately outside our door! They had to do that because when they were cutting the wood inside, it kept setting off the fire alarms. That was three days of pure fun for both me and Infant Munchkin. I'm glad you didn't let me know ahead of time, because I quite enjoyed sitting at home, listening to the "REEEEEEE!" of the power saw and the "BAM! BAM! BAM!" of the hammers and the "EEEEP! EEEEP! EEEEP!" of the fire alarms. But it didn't stop after the installation, because (joy!) you have the habit of walking around with your heels on.

I wanted to thank you for being more considerate than the couple that lived in your place before you bought it. They would get up at 6:30 every morning and drag their dining room chairs all over the dining room floor. It's not really so horrible, per say, to use one's furniture for its intended manner, but the fact is that our bedroom is immediately below said dining room, and when they dragged (drug?) their chairs around, it was not only super loud, but it made something in our ceiling fan resonate, which doubled the noise. I wouldn't be surprised it it was twice as loud in our bedroom as it was in their dining room! But as it stands, you leave at 9:30 and I don't even think you eat breakfast. So kudos to you!

All-in-all, you've been a great upstairs neighbor. We've had our differences and our issues, but we live in high-density residential housing, so those things happen. I'm just glad you don't throw raves in your living room or feel the need to exercise by running up and down your staircase or have a small child up there chasing your dog and cat around. THAT could get annoying. (Hey, don't get me wrong, I love kids and all, but I'm just grateful that none live above me.)

So, next month, I'll move out, and you won't have to listen to me singing "Shake Your Sillies Out" or "Head and Shoulders, Knees and Toes" eight or twelve times a day. We'll call it a win-win.

Love,
HausFrau